


I told myself I wouldn't kiss you tonight

by Kacychase



Category: I Love Yoo (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23276194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kacychase/pseuds/Kacychase
Summary: Well. Look how it goes yourself.
Kudos: 1





	I told myself I wouldn't kiss you tonight

**I Told Myself I wouldn’t Kiss You Tonight**

I could not endure looking into his blue eyes as I sat in this extremely high and soft chair, food in front of me. Would Yui be okay with me touching it? She likes me after all, right? I’ve done everything to act in her favor and her means ever since she has supported me.

“Do you like the food, honey?” As I quickly look up, I see Yui look at her son. She is so incredibly pretty and behind her smile, there’s a powerful woman. Sometimes, I am ashamed that I can’t be like her, that Nol isn’t like his father is. Why can I not be as powerful?

Kousuke however, he  _ did  _ draw her attention all the time. He had a corporate position the Hirahara business, had been valedictorian during his educational career and had a degree this early. He was so… handsome. And so incredibly powerful.

As he quickly flickered his eyes at me, I couldn’t help but blush. He was so incredibly handsome by nature and here I was, hiding behind my features. But maybe he liked it?

“It is acceptable, mother, thank you”, he replied in his usual tone.

I knew that Mrs. Hirahara probably didn’t want me to think of Kousuke like this. I had a boyfriend and even though I knew we were that only for the label, he definitely linked me closer to this family. He’s my link to my career. He ties me to this family officially and my name surely would rise once we would be an official couple but…

After this, I knew that my dreams of the raven-haired, successful man next to me didn’t diminish. Quickly I tried to cover my furious blush, in the hopes that my make-up would cover it anyway. “Alyssa?” As I turn to Yeong-Gi, I immediately feel bad. I know I would hurt him if I did this: not only was he already in a bad position after the trial but… “Are you alright?”

“Yes, thank you, Yeong-Gi. How do you like the food?”

As I look down at his plate, I just noticed that he didn’t touch it. Aw… Maybe I should have looked before asking. “I’m not really hungry I guess”, he just replied awkwardly and looked down again, resting in his expression. I wished I wouldn’t have been this puzzled with him all the time.

I noticed that he didn’t take part in this conversation either, observing Kousuke and his father especially. And that, I really didn’t mind since I would have free view on the former.

I really am a slut.

As the meeting had been dismissed, Yeong-Gi slowly stands up to bring me home, but then, Yui suddenly interrupts: “Alyssa, sweetie! I wanted to talk to you because of something about a sponsor of yours! It won’t last long, I promise.” Her smile was gorgeous like any other and I couldn’t help but smile, hopefully somehow showing the least amount of mannerism.

I had to be beautiful and take my place.

“Absolutely! I don’t mind, I didn’t have the chance to chat with you!”, I chirped, actually sincerely excited to talk to her. What was it about her career? Was there another sponsor? Would someone raise their investment?

I really owed her everything.

“Well, then, follow me!” And so I did, forgetting what I was supposed to do after. It was really dream-like whenever I would go into and out of her conversations. She was amazing. “Mother, may I speak to Alyssa after?” That question surprised me. More surprisingly, I didn’t see Yeong-Gi anywhere in the room. Did he leave? I had seen him respecting his mother very much earlier, so having him say nothing to her and just go away… It sounded unreasonable. Maybe he was going to the restroom? Surely, that was it. Yui happily replied: “Well, why is that, son? Do you have interest in supporting our bright, young and sweet lady? I am glad that you would see potential in her! Of course!”

The conversation with Yui was indeed amazing. Another sponsor, more money for the marketing and more product placement deals for me. I felt on a breeze and all the sweet words from her did far more than what I had to sacrifice for this job. At least so I hoped. But what really was distracting me throughout the conversation was Kousuke. He would talk to me, most likely in private.

What was I going to do? I certainly knew why Meg liked him, and I agreed to all of these traits. How was I supposed to keep this crush a secret when I would be in front of him? Alone?

I just… I didn’t really know. Maybe he liked me too? Maybe we could figure something out if he did? But well, why would he like me?

_ But why would he talk to you then? Yeong-Gi is gone. This is your chance. _

Right. It was.

As Yui and I heard a knock on the door, I definitely noticed my racing heart, beating and pleading to jump out of my caging chest.

So as Yui and I gladly did our goodbye greetings, she exited the room, letting in her son.

He was so similar to her. His black hair was sitting perfectly, his pale skin and facial features so soft-looking, so strikingly beautiful. The piercing on his ear showed just enough of probably the real Kousuke, the one he was outside of work and business, that there was something deeper about him. As he elegantly and slowly closed the door and strode towards me, I saw his eyes.

God knew, they took my breath away.

I remembered his incredibly handsome hairstyle during the formal, and knew that this wasn’t just his exterior. It was him, a powerful, elegant gentleman, doing the right thing and knowing when to take action.

I wondered how he must have dealt with my sister.

“Alyssa? I’m sorry to bother you at this late hour, it would be just a minute.”

“Oh no, I don’t mind it being longer!” How much I loved his eyes on me, and how he gave me a once-over, it was too much for me. I felt my stupid cheeks burning.

How could I do this? Please, something, help me go through this without making a move. “I wanted to ask why you decided to join this meeting. I haven’t heard f No- Yeong-Gi mentioning you this evening.” His stern and calm voice, his gaze on me nearly made me forget to answer. Was he serious about this? What was I supposed to answer?

_I wanted to see you today._ Unsurely, I tried to grasp something, anything. “I wanted to witness what it was like for your mother. She has been a very important figure and I just wanted to show my gratitude.” My unsure smile was something he must have caught on, and as his eyes went over my lips, I couldn’t help but examine his.

_ No, Alyssa! Don’t be a nuisance for him like Meg was! Be graceful. _

I quickly averted my gaze. But then, my breath hitched as he came closer. “You do not seem confident with your answer, Miss Cho. Are you sure this was the reason, and nothing else?” Gosh, his analytic blue eyes were hot as hell.

I understood why Meg tried everything to be watched by these eyes.

And the way he said this threw me off entirely. His blue blouse and dark blue tie was fitting his posture well and hid what was beneath. But it fit these blue pools, watching me. Immediately, I looked down, too aware of his cologne. “I-I…” Would I really tell him the truth?

As I looked back to him, I was sure that my facial expression was about to crumble. I saw his surprise with me closing the distance, taking in a deep breath. “I wanted to see how you were doing, too. Yui was mentioning you a lot during our conversations, and I quickly wanted to say goodbye before you’d leave as the CFO!”, I quickly chirped and put on a smile. But I knew it was crumbling.

“Oh, is that so?” His blue eyes were of wonder and something I couldn’t decipher.

“Yes!”

“Thank you then. It has been a pleasure to make acquaintance with you so far, Miss Cho.” Neither of us moved after this. Was this it?

Would I never see him again after? How would I be able to live with myself after this? All of a sudden, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I wish I could wash away these memories of hands on me. I wish someone else with power could touch me. Please, Kousuke.

He was going to leave, right? I would never see him again. Should I take this chance?

My voice was breaking, getting emotional with the ugly feeling of being impure: “I-I t-told myself I wouldn’t kiss you tonight.” My voice was barely a whisper before I quickly put a hand in front of my lips, nearly not daring to look into his eyes.

My emotions were so conflicted that I didn’t know what to do.

As he looked down, I didn’t see consolation, understanding or empathy. His gaze was cold as stone, and I felt my heart shattering to pieces. “Pl-please, don’t tell Yui, I will never say such a thing again, I promise.” From now on, it was difficult to decipher his facial expression since my vision was blurry. But as the first tear dropped, I figured he was looking away, and I heard his steps as he walked away.

Right past me.

“You have just disappointed me, Miss Cho.” And as he opened and closed the door again, I quickly brushed away the tear, all my good emotions gone.

_ You are a disappointment, Alyssa. You even had to screw up your career, huh? _


End file.
